Conflict. What comes to mind? In today’s world, we often associate conflict with negative images and feelings. We believe conflict is destructive, unnatural, and unhealthy. In turn, we approach conflict from a position of fear and uncertainty. We do whatever we must to restore a sense of power and certainty in the situation. We push to end the conflict quickly and in our favor, or we go to extremes to avoid the person and situation. Is this familiar? In this ego-based paradigm, we view conflict as a proverbial “pie” to divide with winners and losers. There is a model I’ve adapted from Thomas-Kilmann highlighting five main conflict styles based on a scale of assertiveness (concern for self) versus cooperativeness (concern for other). Continue Reading